My name is Derrick, and I began to stutter at an early age.

As a young boy, I was confident in myself and enjoyed being the center of attention. I liked to have fun and laugh, and stuttering did not begin to affect me until my middle school days and worsened in my teenage years.

During this time, I became more aware of my appearance and more conscious about what others thought of me.  So the disability of stuttering, which at one time I did not even acknowledge, was now leading to stressful and awkward moments.

The kid, who once wanted to be the center of everything, was now fearful of simple things like reading in front of classmates. I was afraid of what my peers would think or say about me.

During school, I would do anything to avoid reading out loud or speaking in front of groups. This caused me to look weak and timid, but I did not care. I just wanted to be quiet.

There is a real mental battle that goes on daily in the psyche of a person that stutters, and this battle can make or break the unsuspecting soul. The constant war to get it right, not face embarrassment, and avoid strange looks and stares are all part of the challenges faced in the life of a person that stutters. Did I say battle? I meant WAR!

I learned to incorporate secondary measures when speaking, and it became a natural habit for me during everyday conversations. For example, I would frequently use substitute words for a particular word to avoid stuttering. This technique, however effective was not helpful. It became a crutch; and more than not, the substitute words did not convey the same message that I was truly trying to communicate.

After taking speech lessons, I began to feel better about myself and realized that I am not a freak or strange person because of stuttering. So I made a decision to not allow stuttering to hold me back from connecting with people and enjoying my life. While attending college, I purposely took a public speaking course to show others and prove to myself that fear was not going to dominate my life.

Today, although I still stammer from time to time, I enjoy speaking in public, meeting new people, and TALKING with confidence. I have a healthier self-esteem. Every day that I wake up, I make up in my mind that I refuse to be defeated by stuttering, and I know that I win every time I choose to open my mouth and speak.

Derrick Moore
Dallas, Texas

Picture of Derrick and his wife, Barb.

Posted March 30, 2015