As A Person Who Stutters, I Find Comfort In Talking To Other People Who Stutter

Blog by Madeline Wahl
July 24, 2019

For most of my life, I've only talked about stuttering – if I actually brought it up in conversations – to people who spoke fluently. Only recently, after attending the Stuttering Foundation's annual gala, the National Stuttering Association's annual conference and then in local chapter meetings in New York City, have I continued to talk to people who stutter on a consistent basis. After growing up thinking I was alone with my stutter, I never realized how different life would be having friends and people in my life who also stutter. While our personal experiences are different, we're able to dive deeper into how stuttering has impacted our lives.

During my childhood, I wanted nothing to do with stuttering. I remember disassembling my clarinet and placing the pieces on the blue plastic chair during band in sixth grade to leave for my speech class. When I'd come back and put the clarinet back together, I never admitted straightaway where I had gone. Stuttering was a well of shame which overflowed into my everyday life. I tried as hard as I could to bury the emotions I didn't want to face deep within me. In those moments, I felt even more isolated from my classmates. I felt even more isolated from myself. I kept wondering: why me?

Since I grew up thinking I was alone with my stutter, becoming close with other people who stutter became a life-changing event. In wanting to ignore everything about stuttering, it became a bit of a shock when this aspect of myself I tried to keep hidden burst open outside of me. First in writing, and then with other people. People – real people. From all backgrounds and all walks of life all over the world. In listening to people stuttering openly around me and talking about switching words, I too felt ready to open up and talk about stuttering out loud with other people who stutter.

I've spoken with people who stutter across various ages, religions, nationalities, backgrounds and countries. We've shared similar experiences of ordering a cup of coffee or changing what we're planning on ordering at a restaurant because we couldn't say what we wanted to order. We talked about friendship, family, dating, work, writing and the more intricate aspects of stuttering. I'd stay up late talking with new friends about these hidden moments in my life, and about new thoughts I hadn't even considered before. Like, what if I have kids who stutter? We'd talk about our identity as people who stutter, the shame we've held onto during our lives and how we relate to other people among various other topics. For the longest time, emotions associated with stuttering I had thought were my own weren't actually entirely my own after all. They were shared with other people, people who stutter – I just hadn't known that yet.

There are so many aspects of stuttering I'm continuing to understand. I never realized the healing that could occur in talking to other people who stutter. Entering the world of stuttering has opened my eyes to a place I never thought existed – not only with the stuttering community, but to an earth-shattering, perception-shifting mindset within. For most of my life I never wanted to talk about stuttering. Now, I'm finding myself talking about stuttering with strangers, strangers-turned-friends, people who are fluent and people who stutter.

Of course, every person within the stuttering community is on their own respective journey. Every person has their own relationship with stuttering and identity, with family and friends, with themselves and within the stuttering community. Every person has their own thoughts, positive and negative, on stuttering. Some people on their journey want to be more open with their stutter and some people don't. This is only my personal experience as a person who stutters and my interactions with other people who stutter, and I find the journey in the stuttering community to be an ever-evolving learning process, one that I'm going to be in for the rest of my life.

CELEBRITY FOCUS

Byron Pitts

Byron Pitts has brought much attention to stuttering with his memoir, Step Out on Nothing: How Faith and Family Helped Me Conquer Life’s Challenges, released in September, 2009. The book not only details his speech difficulties, but also his illiteracy until age 12 and his unstable family life. Pitts overcame the odds to become the chief national correspondent with ABC News.

Bob Love

Bob Love has dreamt about being a great public speaker since his early days in Bastrop Louisiana, even though, as a young man, he could barely put two words together, let alone speak a full sentence.

In spite of his severe stuttering disability, Bob Love, the son of a sharecropper, rose to become a Chicago Bulls NBA superstar, whose records were eventually surpassed by Michael Jordan. Throughout his entire athletic career, Bob Love kept his stuttering a secret from the fans who adored him, thinking he could do his “talking” on the basketball court.

Bill Walton

From BillWalton.com

Thank you for your interest in my life long problem with my speech and communication skills. I was a very shy and reserved young man who could not speak at all without severely stuttering until I was 28 years old. Always a success in the classroom and on the basketball court, I took refuge in the things that I did well as a youngster. A straight A student, my athletic abilities covered the deficiencies that limited my overall growth and development. The game of basketball was my religion, the gym my church. It was a convenient way of avoiding my responsibilities of developing my human relation skills.

When I was 28, a chance encounter at a social event with Hall of Fame broadcaster Marty Glickman completely changed my life in so many ways that things have never been the same since, nor have they ever been better. That day, in a very brief, private conversation (one way, mind you, since I literally could not speak at the time) Marty explained, patiently and concisely, that talking, communicating was a skill not a gift or a birthright and that like any skill, whether it be sports, music, business or whatever, needed to be developed over a lifetime of hard work, discipline, organization and practice. Marty gave me some simple tips that day and then encouraged me to take those keys and apply them to methods of learning that I had received from the special teachers that I had come across in my life, particularly the 6 Hall of Fame basketball coaches that I had played for throughout my career. The beginning of my whole new life was as simple as that. No gimmicks, tricks or shortcuts. Just the realization that with some help, guidance and a lot of hard work that I too could do what seemed so easy, simple and natural to everyone else, yet seemed impossibly out of my reach and comprehension.

Alan Rabinowitz

Alan Rabinowitz, Ph.D., who passed away in 2018, was an explorer, wildlife conservationist, and author. He established the Hukawng Valley Tiger Reserve in northern Myanmar, which is about the size of the state of Vermont.

His love for animals began when he was very young.

Ken Venturi

As much of the nation watches the U.S. Open Golf Championship, it is impossible not to think about our late friend Ken Venturi. Ken overcame many challenges to win the Open at Congressional in 1964 and go on to become the voice of golf for more than three decades.

However, Ken faced no bigger obstacle than stuttering. Ken Venturi was a champion to those who stutter, going out of his way to share his personal experience when consulted by a colleague, friend, or child who stutters.