Blog By Madeline Wahl

"Virtual Stutter: Remote Communication" is a photo series with images that highlight some of the complexities which arose when stutterers communicated virtually during an unprecedented pandemic.

Shifting communication to mostly virtual platforms allowed ease of communication. However, complications also popped up during this shift. The use of face masks has helped decrease the spread of COVID-19 and other respiratory illnesses. While wearing a face mask is essential to ensuring the safety of themselves and those around them, it does hinder communications. How will someone know if someone is trying to speak without reading body language or noticing an opened mouth?

The photographs were taken virtually and in natural light; the photographer took photos of the computer and technological devices. The socially distant photos were taken on separate screens; no photos were taken in person during the series. 

CAN YOU HEAR ME NOW?
Many of my in-person happy hours or walks in the park with friends have been replaced with phone calls and Zoom dates...in my bedroom. Instead of getting together for drinks at a bar, my friends would gather around our phones or computers for Zoom dates. Sometimes, during family Zoom calls, my computer screen would freeze. If there's a bad internet connection, will my face freeze? Likewise, is this frozen screen similar to how I look when I stutter? While I'm thankful for the option of virtual communication, there's an extra pressure for people who stutter virtually. The listener may interpret the stutter as a slow internet connection, or may interpret a silent block as a dropped call and hang up. I've had people hang up the phone in my moment of silence, the pause in between words. Or, when someone answers, I quickly hang up the phone rather than stumble over my name and introduction, hoping I can call back at a later point in time. In real life, face-to-face, I can't "hang up" on a conversation.

HOW HAS MY STUTTER CHANGED IN THE PANDEMIC?
The pandemic changed many things about everyday life, including how I view myself and how I view my stutter. Has my stuttering changed during this time? When I worked from home, I was in the comfort of my room and behind a screen instead of at my desk in an office. However, I've realized that no matter where I am, my stutter will always be with me. My pre-pandemic stutter and my post-pandemic stutter remain the same. However, perhaps it's a bit more prevalent now. While I don't have as many face-to-face interactions and therefore less chances to stutter in real life, I do miss the vocal aerobics I used to go through. The interactions with others. Hearing myself talk and hearing the other person say something back. I've noticed a change in myself alongside how I communicate with a stutter. I've never focused so much on my stutter than when I am at home behind a screen.

ON READ OR UNREAD?
When talking in a conversation, there are pauses and spaces between words. In texts, that space is often conveyed on certain phones with three dots that indicate the person on the other end of the conversation is typing but hasn't sent their thoughts yet. Sometimes, I wonder if there would be a way to communicate this in verbal conversations. There are words I want to speak but need a bit of time, encouragement, and coaxing in order to be spoken out loud and communicated. Via text, it's easier to express that I need a few more seconds while compositing my thoughts. Other times, the three dots do the communicating for me.

What does a stutter look like in a text message? When I read a text from a person who stutters, I don't add in a stutter. I read the text as is—whole. When we communicate in person or on the phone, our words and expressions are peppered with extra syllables, vowel elongations, and repeated phrases. The closest thing that comes to a stutter is autocorrect, which adds in unwanted words or incorrect spellings. There is another layer to receiving texts from friends and family: on read. With the pressure of the pandemic and the pressure to speak even more fluently on a phone call because of decreased face-to-face communication, I sometimes let texts go unanswered for a period of time. I read their words and then formulate a reply and then...don't. This is also simulated in texting when the three dots appear...and then disappear. Communication takes energy and is, at times, exhausting. The pressure to reply to a text is even more apparent during a time when communication through technology seems to be more prevalent than talking face-to-face.

Nov. 18, 2024