Making Changes Over Time

Blog by Voon Pang
Aug. 31, 2016

This is a story about how a young man’s stuttering journey and his road to effective communication and self-acceptance as a person who stutters. I began working with Robert* in 2012 when he was turning 8 and together we learned strategies to have ‘easier’ speech and ‘easier’ stuttering. We also talked about stuttering (myths and facts) and effective communication skills. Robert made significant progress in 6 months and we gradually reduced the frequency of sessions for the rest of year before having a speech break in 2013.

In 2014, when Robert was turning 10, we resumed therapy as Robert’s parents and Robert himself had noticed an increase in stuttering and a growing frustration associated with his difficulties. The work we had done up to this point had set the foundation for future communication skills training and we decided that along with individual therapy, Robert would participate in our Confident Communicators Group (a group for 7-10-year-old children who stutter). Robert excelled in the group and not only did he learn that there are others just like him who stutter (and brushed up on his speech tools), but he was also a positive role model for younger children who stutter. The group was a turning point for Robert and we didn’t see each other for all of 2015.

At the beginning 2016, Robert changed schools and had to navigate meeting new students and teachers who were unfamiliar with stuttering. This year, we have worked on disclosing stuttering or telling others that he stutters, giving himself permission to stutter, voluntary stuttering and pulling-out of a stuttering moment. We continue to check in every so often to see if therapy or support is needed.

Robert’s attitude and acceptance of stuttering over time epitomises the importance of learning that there are many others who stutter and that there are ways to combine this with speech tools to help with ‘easier’ speech or ‘easier’ stuttering. His participation and support from his family has meant a team approach to ensuring that our long term goal is for Robert to continue to say what he wants to say when he wants to say it. Robert’s therapy goals have changed over time and will continue to change as he grows into a young adult. He is mature beyond his years and I am privileged to have been a part of his stuttering journey. Here are some words of advice from one of my best teachers –

On fluency and ‘speech tools’

“I don’t focus on stuttering, just talking”

“It is good to learn techniques and after reaching a level of fluency to just talk”

On people who tease/bully others because of stuttering

“It’s important to see these people as jerks who are making up for their own insecurities”

On giving myself permission to stutter

“If I allow myself to be OK with stuttering then my listener knows that I am OK with stuttering”

“I can stutter and raise awareness about stuttering so that a larger amount of people understands stuttering”

“If I become more open about stuttering I don’t have to worry about it as much”

On what stuttering has taught me

“Stuttering has taught me about confidence and what it means to be confident”

“Stuttering has taught me to be calmer (more accepting) about who I am as a person”

“Stuttering has taught me about being better with communication skills”

*(Not his real name)

Author’s acknowledgement: Thank you to Robert and his family for giving me permission to share their story on this blog post

CELEBRITY FOCUS

Mel Tillis

Mel Tillis, born Lonnie Melvin Tillis, was an influential figure in country music, both as a songwriter and a performer. His journey to fame was marked by overcoming personal challenges, including a stutter that he turned into a defining part of his public persona.

Marilyn Monroe

From Edward S. Herrington's letter to Southcoasttoday.com

I am writing in response to "The importance of voice" (May 29), which mentioned that famous actor James Earl Jones struggled with stuttering. Another famous voice that you cited was the trademark breathy voice of Marilyn Monroe; however, you did not make mention of the fact that Marilyn Monroe also struggled with stuttering at various points in her life, sometimes very painfully.

Bill Walton

From BillWalton.com

Thank you for your interest in my life long problem with my speech and communication skills. I was a very shy and reserved young man who could not speak at all without severely stuttering until I was 28 years old. Always a success in the classroom and on the basketball court, I took refuge in the things that I did well as a youngster. A straight A student, my athletic abilities covered the deficiencies that limited my overall growth and development. The game of basketball was my religion, the gym my church. It was a convenient way of avoiding my responsibilities of developing my human relation skills.

When I was 28, a chance encounter at a social event with Hall of Fame broadcaster Marty Glickman completely changed my life in so many ways that things have never been the same since, nor have they ever been better. That day, in a very brief, private conversation (one way, mind you, since I literally could not speak at the time) Marty explained, patiently and concisely, that talking, communicating was a skill not a gift or a birthright and that like any skill, whether it be sports, music, business or whatever, needed to be developed over a lifetime of hard work, discipline, organization and practice. Marty gave me some simple tips that day and then encouraged me to take those keys and apply them to methods of learning that I had received from the special teachers that I had come across in my life, particularly the 6 Hall of Fame basketball coaches that I had played for throughout my career. The beginning of my whole new life was as simple as that. No gimmicks, tricks or shortcuts. Just the realization that with some help, guidance and a lot of hard work that I too could do what seemed so easy, simple and natural to everyone else, yet seemed impossibly out of my reach and comprehension.

Bob Love

Bob Love has dreamt about being a great public speaker since his early days in Bastrop Louisiana, even though, as a young man, he could barely put two words together, let alone speak a full sentence.

In spite of his severe stuttering disability, Bob Love, the son of a sharecropper, rose to become a Chicago Bulls NBA superstar, whose records were eventually surpassed by Michael Jordan. Throughout his entire athletic career, Bob Love kept his stuttering a secret from the fans who adored him, thinking he could do his “talking” on the basketball court.

Alan Rabinowitz

Alan Rabinowitz, Ph.D., who passed away in 2018, was an explorer, wildlife conservationist, and author. He established the Hukawng Valley Tiger Reserve in northern Myanmar, which is about the size of the state of Vermont.

His love for animals began when he was very young.